We were watching a movie the other night when we got a call from a number in California that we didn’t recognize. It turned out to just be a call from work, but for a split second I thought it might be our adoption case worker calling to tell us we had been chosen by a birthmother. I got really excited, imagining what it will be like to get that phone call–the phone call that will change our lives forever.
I felt silly immediately for thinking that, because it has only been about a month. Way too fast. And then I felt a sense of relief because I realized that while we are emotionally ready for that call, we are materially unprepared at this point. The question is: when should we get prepared, like buying-a-crib-and-decorating-the-nursery prepared?
I have no idea. Part of me wants to wait until we get the phone call about a birthmother match, because the last thing I want to do is look at an empty nursery for an unknown length of time. Plus, it feels like buying a bunch of baby stuff could jinx the whole thing in some way. There is so much uncertainty about the process that I’m at a loss for when to accept it as reality.
After checking out a few other adoption blogs and websites devoted to the topic, one thing became clear: everyone approaches it differently. Some people are prepared from day one. Ready to go. Others don’t do anything until the baby is home. Some have a baby shower during the wait or after the match but before the birth. Others wait until the baby is at home or on the way to have a shower in order to avoid disappointment. “A watched pot never boils,” is what they always say. So, does that mean a watched nursery never becomes occupied?
My Real Kid: life as a transracial adoptive mom 