As we worked on our home study, I began to research adoption agencies. Having no idea what to expect and knowing virtually nothing about how adoption works, I was kind of flying blind. Immediately, I found several agencies that excluded couples who hadn’t been married for a number of years, single parents and gay couples. Jamie and I had only been married for a year so we wouldn’t have been accepted anyway, but I didn’t want to work with an agency that discriminated based on sexual orientation or anything else. So, I started to explore blogs and forums where people talked about their experiences with various adoption agencies. One agency kept coming up and was reviewed positively in every post I read.
I visited their website and learned that they don’t discriminate against anyone and they believe that every couple or single person can be matched with the right birthmother. They don’t use a waiting list, bur rather the birthmother chooses the family she thinks would make the best parents and if the adoptive parents agree, a match is made. One big difference I noticed from other agencies is that they do extensive counseling with birthmothers and their families prior to showing them any adoptive profiles at all and they only match birthmothers with adoptive parents in the last trimester. Both of these things help ensure a successful adoption with no surprises along the way. Another bonus is that they have a nationwide network and can work with birthmothers and adoptive parents from any state. A nationwide search means that their average wait time to be matched with a birthmother is an incredible 6 months. That blew my mind: if all things worked out on an average timeline, it would only be 6 months to a match with a birthmother in her last three months of pregnancy. So, we could very well have a baby in 9 months – just like a pregnancy.
I was liking what I was reading and decided to watch a few video testimonials from adoptive parents. This is where it gets crazy. The first video I watched, I noticed that the adoptive mother looked an awful lot like she belonged in my family. She looked so familiar. She looks just like a distant cousin of mine, I thought – one I hadn’t seen a picture of in years. I emailed my mom and asked if said cousin had adopted and it turns out she had, though my mom was fuzzy on the details. My mom gave me her email and I immediately sent her a note to see if it really was her. She called me that same day and told me all about her struggle with infertility and the incredible experience she had adopting her daughter. She couldn’t say enough wonderful things about the agency and adoption in general–and I made up my mind right then that this was a sign and that this agency would be the agency to help build our family.
I believe that when you’re on the right path in life and going after what you want, the universe conspires to help you along. This connection with my cousin to the adoption agency we were considering was just one of the many things that has made me realize that we are following the right path to a family and are exactly where we need to be.